Any advice to help a guy with mental illness find a girlfriend? I’m trying to find a long term relationship but I keep running into a wall!

Any advice to help a guy with mental illness find a girlfriend? I’m trying to find a long term relationship but I keep running into a wall!

Kathy:

Thank you so much for posing this question to us. My friend, I feel like you have come to just the right place. To me, the answer for you is very clear.

I know it may seem like a good idea and perhaps the other kids are doing it, but I really think you need to stop running into that wall. It is very obvious to me that that is your core issue.

First, all of that running into a wall has knocked your marbles loose and is making you feel like you are experiencing a mental illness. This habit of hurtling yourself toward an immovable object has probably really jarred something in your cranium and now things are compressed and pinched and synapses can’t fire. Stop now before you get any more insane. Crazy people with loose marbles jiggling in their heads do not do well in sane relationships. You have to stop running into that wall and let the stuff in your head settle so you can think clearly.

Second, running into a wall can’t be good for your appearance. If you lead with your head when you run into that wall, your face is probably pretty banged up. Hopefully you haven’t done any permanent structural damage and we’re just talking about bruises and abrasions. But even if it’s more of a full body crash, you are likely covered in injuries. This can’t possibly look good. If anything, a girl’s first impression of you will be that you are a klutz or a very bad driver. Either way, she isn’t going to want to be anywhere near you for very long. People who are covered in scabby, oozy sores don’t get out a lot.

Third, I’m not a doctor, but sometimes I pretend to be one in order to get prescription drugs for recreational use. Wait…no…that’s off topic. I’m not a doctor, but I bet running into a wall, even if you don’t go head first each time, gives you a headache. And, still, I’ve not spent a single minute in medical school, but I’m guessing the pain from that headache is affecting your mood. Cranky people don’t have a lot of friends, let alone girlfriends, because they aren’t very fun to be around. Think about it. But not too hard because your head probably already hurts.

Finally, I don’t know all the people by any means, but I can’t think of a single person I do know who likes running into a wall. What I’m trying to say is that I think you will have a difficult time finding someone who shares this interest with you. An important part of finding a mate is looking for someone who likes to do the things you like to do so you can make a connection. Asking a girl out on a date that involves running into a wall for the evening isn’t likely to get you far.

That’s it. The answer is simple. Stop running into a wall. Your head stuffing will go back into place, so you’ll feel less crazy, the bruises and abrasions on your face and body will clear up, your head will stop hurting and you’ll develop an interest in the kinds of things other people actually like to do. Try going around the wall and you’ll be on your way to girlfriend city in no time.

(Just in case the wall has really damaged your brain, there actually is no such place as Girlfriend City. That was just a figure of speech. Do not try to go there.)

All the best!